Moms: Just Say No! (or Not)

An article in yesterday's New York Times piqued my interest. It seems that many moms are feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, not by their family's finances or a loved one's illness, but rather by volunteering too much and too often in their children's schools.
I'm a compulsive volunteer. I sit and lead committees in both the elementary and middle school PTSAs. I teach religion and am on the board of a local light opera company (not because I'm a big donor, but because I can "communicate".) My husband and I volunteer to help out with each sport (soccer, baseball, softball) or activity (choirs, community theater) my kids are involved in.
I could just say no. To all of it. And if I worked full time, I probably would cut back-- a little. But, maybe naively, I think you need to help out if you expect others to help you when you need it. I want my kids to understand that.
And if you're involved, you have more of a voice in how things are done. You have more of a right to complain when things aren't what they should be.
I wrangle volunteers for middle school activity nights. Many parents say they can't help out because their child doesn't want them to be there. It's not cool to hang with your friends under your parents' watchful eye... Really, who is the parent here? My daughter doesn't have a choice. I want to see her with her friends and keep an eye on the middle school scene. And, once at the event, she doesn't seem to mind. More importantly, if parents don't show up, there is no activity night. That may be OK-- it's not like activity night participation will get your kid into a good college-- but I think the kids lose out.
There are certainly very late nights or very early mornings when I'm putting together the school newsletter that I would like to throw my computer against the wall, wondering why I decided to volunteer for that particular job. And it's never fun avoiding my husband's rolling eyes after I tell him of yet another thing I've volunteered (or volunteered our entire family) for. But you get as much out of something as you put in...
Yikes-- gotta go make a "healthy" treat for my son's holiday celebration.